Our foray into the expat world started with Hubby coming home and asking “Want to go and live in Laos?”. I would like to say I instantly responded with a “sure, when do we leave?”. But it was more of a “where?”, as I reached for the Atlas. After some discussion, we decided our lives could do with a little more adventure. And so, with a positive outlook and not much of an idea of what was waiting on the other side, we squished our home into a container. We waved Riggs off in his made-to-order crate and strapped in the littles for the first of many flights to come. Read on for our tips for first time expats from our experience in Vientiane, Laos.
Expectation
- There would be a welcoming committee of fellow expats excited to meet the new blood.
- Life in Asia would be similar to life in Africa and we would be signing up to the country club in no time.
- It would be easy to figure everything out once there, thanks to the friendly and helpful expat spouses.
- Living in the tropics would be a pleasant change from the unpredictable Melbourne weather.
Reality
- We arrived as most expats were leaving for the long summer holiday.
- There was no country club registration waiting for us, turns out that is not a thing in Asia.
- The mining spouses we met were decidedly unfriendly and opted to keep information sharing to a minimum.
- May through to July are the hottest, most humid months of the year and I have never experienced anything like it since.
A rough start
After a two hour whip around Vientiane, our induction was complete. I hired a car and took to learning how to drive on the other side of the road. Not a simple task when sharing the space with hundreds of mopeds and those who most likely paid for their car licenses with the purchase of their vehicle. But, Vientiane is a small city and with the one-way system in place, it was pretty simple to figure out. Tackling the crazy traffic was made that much easier when we bought “The Red Beast”. Her bull-bar was an added incentive to her size for others to keep their distance.
Unfortunately, my excitement on navigating Vientiane successfully was short-lived. I spent the next few weeks in and out of clinics with both boys projectile vomiting with horribly high fevers. Casey got so bad he started having seizures and no one could tell me why. All the while I was dragging both kids house to house trying to find somewhere to live. To add to the fun and games, every time we stepped outside I wasn’t sure if we were going to melt in the humidity or drown in the rain. It was an incredibly scary and exhausting time.
With Hubby focussing on his job and my family continents away, I had never felt more alone. I would be lying if I said the thought of escape did not cross my mind. But, there was our eight year old ridgeback, Riggs, to think of. I was not about to ditch him or put him back on a plane. Giving up was not an option.
There is always sun behind the clouds
Purely by chance I overheard a family talking about leaving and apparently they had a nice house (it pays to have ears constantly taking in surrounding conversations). Within the hour I was dragging our reluctant agent to see it. We were due to sign on another house and I am sure she was looking forward to seeing the back of me. After a walk through, it just felt right. It had a perfect garden and loads of light. I was straight on the phone to Hubby and had him delivering the first month’s rent in cash before anyone could think to say no.
The house came with Gur who became our gardener, manny, surrogate uncle, companion to Riggs and snake catcher. Not long after we moved in, Thong joined our family and she instantly took charge of us all and formed a very loving bond with the boys. I cannot even begin to put into words how special these two people were to us. My kids may not have many memories of our Laos days but they will forever benefit from the love and time they received from these two wonderful people. They made our days easier and our home, well home.
Things started falling into place once we found our home and we ended up having an incredible three years in Vientiane. Made even more special as it was a place of many firsts for us. First day of school, first friends and sadly first goodbyes for our littles when we had to see Riggs off.
Top tips for first time expats
- Do a “site” visit to get the lay-of-the-land.
- Ask for help if you need it but don’t rely on anyone. Make your list and find the answers yourself. BEFORE you board that flight.
- Number one on that list, find out where the best paediatric clinics/hospitals are, what your Emergency Evacuation options are if required and make sure all of this is covered by a good health insurer!
- If going with littles, arrange a nanny from day one and have them teaching the kids the local language right off the bat.
- Never settle for anything when looking for your future home and find somewhere close to the action so you can experience local life.
- Don’t let a rough start or bad day have you booking tickets home. Stick it out and keep and open mind as you navigate this new world, you won’t regret it.
- Find your people. People you can be 100% yourself with. This is the most essential ingredient to a happy expat experience.
- Head over to our post about “What we love about expat life and why everyone should try it” to get more tips.
5 ways to meet people when living abroad
- playgroups/pre-school/school – We all know it is easier socialising with people when the kids have a friend to play with. Kids also seem to pick kids from families with a similar mindset.
- Gym/Social sports – When you can make friends and have a laugh with someone while creating sweat puddles and struggling to breath, you know you have found your people. I met some wonderful ladies through the gym both as a participant and trainer in Vientiane.
- Work – I generally believe it is healthier to keep work life and social life separate. The dynamic in the mining industry in Laos made this more important than ever. However, there are always exceptions to the rule and we did find a few of these in Vientiane.
- Kids sports/extra-curriculars – Always a good spot to initiate that first conversation when you can distractedly make conversation while watching your kids. Soccer was big in Vientiane and TC Sports always had something on.
- Social/community events – Say yes to them all … initially. Even the women’s groups. You never know, you might find your person through simultaneous eye-rolls over cucumber sandwiches. It has happened! Of course I mean no offence to these groups, but if there are crazy expats in town, they can usually be found here.
Why Laos was good for us as first time expats
The number of NGO’s and foreign banks was a bit of a red flag considering the size of the Laos. But, it did mean there were SO many expats from literally ALL over the world. Many of them families with young kids. This meant there were always a large gathering of parents and kids at the community organised playgroups. To add to the family friendliness there were two good pre-schools, an excellent International School and the French School.
If you are a first time expat and a community of similar souls is important to you, this is something you should look for when deciding on an expat location. Not all expat opportunities will have this big a pool of expats to pick from. A small expat community is something we experienced in our next location in Madagascar and it was a very challenging environment.
10 more things we loved about living in Vientiane
- The food, soooo fresh and soooo good.
- The people, gentle and so patient with kids.
- Our home and beautifully shaded garden.
- Vientiane’s slow pace.
- The climate – kept the boys outside year round.
- Cost of living.
- Beach vacays in Thailand.
- There is always a reason to hire a bouncy castle.
- Pi Mai – the New Years Festival which involves water fights and throwing flour at each other.
- Being able to fit the whole family on a moped.
The biggest challenge living in Vientiane
Surprisingly it was not the hundreds of mopeds we had to avoid daily! It was the medical facilities. There were two General Practitioner options open 8am-5pm. For anything more serious or after hours, it meant a flight to Bangkok or a border dash to Udon Thani. One night I had to resort to Google one night when none of the above options were available to get a dislocated elbow back in. A story of its own!
Time to say goodbye
There is the saying that all good things must end. I believe it is important that you end any expat experience while you are still loving the life and actually don’t want to leave. I have seen many expats become jaded/miserable/bitter/entitled. All from staying in a place too long. When you start seeing local life around you in a negative light and without humour or think you are somehow better than the people around you, it is time to move on.
From discussions with other expats, three to five years seems to be the sweet spot. Personally I think it is telling that most embassy and international school roles have a four year maximum term. I figure there is some research somewhere showing this to be the “healthy number”.
Of all the places we have lived so far, Vientiane was definitely the hardest place to leave. And not just because they couldn’t figure out how to read my visa to get to Australia in my old passport on the way out. We formed deep bonds with some very special people here and shared many happy moments. The people we shared our Laos life with will always be a part of our memories from this time. A time when life began for our family and our kids went from babies to little boys. For three of us, this country was a favourite. Find out who the odd one out in our pros and cons post.
Heading to Laos? Put these on your to-do list
- Coffee or brekkie at Naked espresso or if you need a kid friendly location, head to Common Grounds.
- Take an evening walk along the Mekong and follow it up with sundowners and dinner at Kong View.
- What about a late lunch? Head to Pimenton, say hi to Serge and be sure to start with one of their famous cocktails. I recommend my favourite, the Spicy cucumber.
- Try a Khao Piak from one of the street vendors or if you prefer a tabled venue head to Makphet for some bamboo sticky rice and a papaya salad.
- Yes, it really is all about the food. Head out of town for a looong lazy lunch in your own floating “table” with a side of karaoke on the Nam Ngum river lunch cruise.
- Buy a silk scarf from the Luang Prabang market for each of the ladies in your world and a pair or six of Laos pants for yourself from the Vientiane Night Market.
- Share a beer Laos tower with friends in Bor Pen Yang and finish your night out with a tuk tuk ride home.
- Off course. Laos is not all about Vientiane so don’t forget to add Luang Prabang, Vang Vieng and The Plain of Jars to the list to name a few.
For a less informative, more entertaining post on our life in Laos click here.
